


Touch-Starved

by glassesgay



Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders - Freeform, Confessions, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders - Freeform, First Kiss, Logic | Logan Sanders - Freeform, Love Confessions, M/M, Morality | Patton Sanders - Freeform, More fluffy, Mutual Pining, Touch-Starved, kinda angsty?, moxiety - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-05-01 01:12:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14509248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glassesgay/pseuds/glassesgay
Summary: Prompt: Moxiety with touch starved Patton?Patton needs comfort and Virgil wants to help him.





	Touch-Starved

Patton really needed a hug.  The only problem was he didn't really realize it himself.

Roman and Logan used to be his go-tos for hugs and cuddle sessions.  And while Logan was less reciprocative than Roman, both were large comforts for Patton and he would seek them out often.  But a while back Patton realized that he was always the one to initiate it.  He rarely ever saw Roman and Logan hugging each other (except for that time when they fell asleep on the couch while working and were cuddling in their sleep.  They both denied it until Patton showed them the pictures he'd taken as proof.

He immediately started worrying that they didn't enjoy it like he did.  And since he cares more about the others than himself and didn't want them to feel like they  _had_ to just because he was being needy, he told himself that he wouldn't initiate them anymore and would let them approach him instead.

But he missed them immensely.  The times Roman and Logan would approach him for physical comfort were few and spread out.  Roman was too proud and rarely admitted to needing help, and Logan came less than Roman.  And any hope he had of getting that from his ever-growing friendship with Anxiety grew dim as he saw the way Anxiety flinched back the last time Patton had touched his arm in greeting.

But Patton told himself that the lack of physical contact didn't bother him; he wanted to respect the other's boundaries and didn't want to pressure them.  So everything was fine, he told himself.  Everything was perfectly fine.

 

The day Virgil told the others his name Patton had hugged him.  Only for a second before letting go as the other side froze and took a quick intake of breath, showing his discomfort with the sudden action.  Patton had quickly let go, but that one second of close contact made Patton realize how much he  ~~needed~~ wanted physical closeness.

When he had wrapped his arms around Virgil, he almost cried.  He hadn't been so close to another in such a long time and it felt so, so nice.  But he noticed Virgil's discomfort and immediately let go.

But the heart needs affection, and Patton was longing for it.  So he decided he had to try to get it in inconspicuous ways.

 

Patton hoped the others weren't aware of his attempts to touch them.  His purposely touching fingers with the others when handing them something, those couple of times he "tripped" in front of Roman knowing he would catch him in an over the top manner, the times he would "accidentally" grab Logan's glasses instead of his own so Logan would have to grab Patton's hand to stop him, he tried to make these as natural as possible.  He would never pull these tricks on Virgil, though.  He knew the "dark side" was always on edge around any of them, and he didn't want to scare him away and reverse any progress he had made on gaining his trust.

He knew it'd be easier to just ask for a hug, but he didn't want to pressure the others.  So he continued these little "tricks" and hoped they wouldn't notice.

 

Virgil noticed.

He knew Logan probably noticed but probably didn't think any of it.  Patton was just being Patton.  He knew that Roman probably didn't notice as his mind is always reeling with new ideas and he's always moving from one project to the other and probably just hasn't noticed the small attempts from Patton.

But Virgil noticed.  He was always an observer.

He noticed that Patton never tried to touch him.  When he realized this, his mind started reeling with the thought that Patton didn't really like him as much as he promised he did and that he was just putting up with him to help Thomas.  He lived with this fear for a few days before it was disproved when Patton went out of his way to help Virgil out of a panic attack and spent the rest of the day with him watching Disney movies and cat videos.

Virgil wanted to hug Patton but there was no way in hell Virgil could get himself to just ask for it.  It was too risky and awkward rejection scenarios played on repeat in his head because if Patton just didn't want to touch him? (Virgil couldn't blame him if that was the case.) So like Patton, Virgil decided to go about it in an inconspicuous manner.

 

Patton was sitting on the couch in the commons, wrapped in a blanket while watching dog video compilations.  He felt the couch cushion dip next to him and he took his earbuds out.

"Heya, Virgil!"

"Hey, Patton."

"Did ya need anything?"

"Nah.  Can I - um - watch that with you?" Virgil asked while ducking his head.  Patton beamed.

"Of course!"

Patton unwrapped himself from his blanket and offered the other end to Virgil.  He didn't expect Virgil to get so close to him that their sides were touching.  His breath hitched at the sudden contact and he prayed Virgil didn't notice.

Virgil's heart was racing a mile a minute as he took the blanket and wrapped it around himself.  He was leaning against Patton and hoped that Patton didn't mind, but by the way Patton smiled as he passed him an earbud and the way Patton relaxed to allow Virgil to lean against him more comfortably helped ease his nerves.

Both of them were only half-focused on the dogs on screen.  They were focused on the contact between them, making sure not to move a muscle as to not encourage the other from moving away and to not disturb this peace they've found

It wasn't until Logan pointed out that they both needed to get up and get dinner did either of them move.

It became a common thing for them.  Virgil leaning against Patton's side while they both watched YouTube or Netflix.  Logan asked why they didn't just watch Netflix on the TV.  Both of them just shrugged, but they both knew that it was because they wouldn't have an excuse to be that close if they did.

 

Patton realized it first.  He was the embodiment of Thomas's feelings and heart, and it wasn't difficult for him to realize he was starting to have feelings for the anxious side.  And as soon as he found out he wanted to run to Virgil's room and tell him, and if it was either of the other sides he probably would, but he couldn't with Virgil.  He couldn't just spring this on him.  Besides, Patton didn't even know if Virgil was interested in a relationship.  He didn't want to jeopardize this thing they had when Patton was taking great solace in it.  But he couldn't just do nothing, so he started trying to think of ways to progress from leaning against each other that wouldn't scare off Virgil.

It took longer for Virgil to realize.  But as soon as he did, he panicked.  Patton deserved better than him.  He knew he'd never be able to confess to him, no way.  He always imagines the worst case scenario, and the worst case scenarios in this situation were  _bad_.  Patton was his best friend he wouldn't - couldn't - jeopardize that, so he tried to ignore the way Patton smiled at him, or how his eyes brightened when he saw him walk into the common room, or how his own heart fluttered upon seeing him.

 

Virgil felt a very large weight be lifted off his shoulders when he realized Patton had started purposefully trying to touch him more often like he had the others.  He'd stop Virgil in the hallway to fix his hoodie strings, brush stray hair from his eyes, or touch his arm as they passed each other.

Virgil pretended not to notice for Patton's sake, but he knew he needed affection.  Leaning against each other still wasn't enough for Patton.  Virgil could see that Patton was wearing down, no matter how big Patton smiled.  He was hurt the others weren't reciprocating.  The heart needs love, and for Patton, that included physical affection.

Virgil hated seeing the usually happy-go-lucky side dejected like this.  He wanted to help, and he wanted to do it soon.

 

Virgil was pacing back and forth in his room.  He couldn't do this, no way.  He slumped down on the floor at the foot of his bed and hugged his knees against his chest once he accepted defeat.  He had been hyping himself up to go confess to Patton, but he couldn't do it.  He was hoping that this would be a good way to help Patton and show that he could hug Virgil whenever he wanted, but every time he thought of confessing he would start shaking and his breathing would become too rapid.  He rested his head on his arms as a few tears slipped out of his eyes.  He was going to fail Patton, the side he adored the most.

He didn't fight back the tears that were pouring from his eyes, nor did he try to muffle the sounds.  The other sides rarely ever came to his room, so he never had to really worry about the other sides hearing him.

Except today, apparently.

"Hey, Virgil.  Are you okay?" a voice called out from behind the door.

Patton.  Shit.

Virgil took a deep breath and wiped his eyes. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Can I come in?"

Virgil hesitated, but decided Patton didn't need another thing to worry about.  He didn't want to make Patton think he didn't trust him and make him feel more isolated.

"Y-yeah."

Patton opened the door and immediately rushed to Virgil's side.  He reached out to grab Virgil's hands but stopped himself as he didn't know if Patton would want physical contact in this state.  Virgil noticed and held out his hands for Patton to take.

"You hadn't been down in the commons all day; I wanted to make sure you were okay.  What's wrong, Virgil?" Patton asked, trying to look Virgil in the eyes while Virgil was staring at the floor.

Virgil took a shaky breath and launched himself at Patton, pulling him into a hug.  Patton quickly reciprocated, wrapping his arms tightly around Virgil.  Virgil immediately started feeling better as he felt Patton's arms around him.  He nestled his head into the crook of Patton's neck and took a deep breath.  Patton was happy to feel Virgil stop shaking.

They sat like that for a minute, reveling in the contact.  Neither of them had had this for such a long time.  Virgil heard Patton take a deep breath as he pulled himself closer to Virgil.

"I'm sorry," Virgil whispered, scared of disturbing the peace.

"What for?"

"Not hugging you sooner."

Virgil heard and felt Patton take a sharp intake of breath.  He raised his hand and started running it through Virgil's hair.  Virgil melted under the touch, never having been treated this well before.

"You have nothing to apologize for."

Virgil leaned back to look at Patton.

"I saw you were hurting, and I was a terrible friend because it took me so long to help you and-"

Patton quieted him by kissing him.  Virgil froze before melting into Patton's arms.  Patton pulled back much too soon in Virgil's opinion.  This time Patton rested his head in the crook of Virgil's neck and held Virgil like he was scared he was going to disappear and this would end.  Virgil made sure to hold him as tightly as he could to assure him that he wasn't going anywhere.

"You have nothing to apologize for," Patton repeated with a shaky breath. "Thank you for worrying about me, but you do more than enough.  You make me so unbelievably happy, you have no idea."

Patton meant it.  He hadn't had this sort of affection in so long, he had forgotten how much he needed it.  He was so happy he was worried he would start crying.  He sighed into Virgil's neck as Virgil kissed the side of his head and rubbed his back.  Patton reveled in the vibrations of Virgil's chest as he spoke.

"You make me happy too, Pat. Unbelievably so."

 

The next day Virgil approached Logan and Roman about Patton.  Even though Patton could come to Virgil whenever he needed physical affection, he knew Patton missed the other two.  Both sides face dropped as Virgil explained what Patton had been going through.  They both felt guilty that they had allowed Patton to hurt this way for so long.

As soon as Patton walked through the door a few minutes later he was bear hugged by Roman who pulled Logan into the hug, too.  The smile on Patton's face made Virgil's heart leap.  They assured him that they didn't mind the hugs or cuddle sessions, and that they would be more than happy to provide whenever Patton needed it.  Patton took them up on that and he was basked in hugs from the three other sides.  He quickly turned back into the same old happy Patton they know and loved.  Patton couldn't be happier.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading :D I really enjoyed filling out this prompt, I hope you liked it! Check out my TS blog imlovethomassanders.tumblr.com and check out my other works maybe? Thanks again and have a lovely day <3


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